Roger and Kathy's Pictures of the Moment
Year 2000 Archive
Click on the thumbnail to bring up full-sized picture
November 28 - December 31
Pictured: Steve Lee and "Matilda"
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "Oh my darlin', oh my darlin'! Steve rocking Matilda:)" (Janet) |
November 1 - November 24
Pictured: Addy Cain
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "That girl's growing like a weed!" (Steve) |
Which of the following is better?
"Well, at least it's better than a picture of me ON the pot..." (Steve)
"Well, at least it's better than a picture of ME on the pot..." (Steve) |
| "VOTE BUSH! (OK, it has nothing to do with the picture, but it's a good message)..." (Steve) |
| "She is the cutest sunflower I have ever seen!!" (Janet) |
| "Send me some of those seeds, that's the cutest flower I've ever seen!" (Cheryl) |
| "I've heard stories about being raised in a PICKLE field,
so I planted myself in this pot to keep it from happening to me..." (Phyllis) |
| "Hi! I'm the sunflower of God's love." (Dot Stahl) |
October 19 - 31
Pictured: Kathy Risner Olson
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "It's the Wicked Witch of the Midwest (Kouts), Kitty Bartholomew.
The nose gave it away! :)" (Janet) |
| "My nose has always been a sore spot with Janet.
She thinks she should be the one with the perfect features, but I love her any way..." (Phyllis) |
| "Hello, my name is Joan Stigaw..." (Steve) |
| "What Roger really calls her when he doesn`t get his way..." (Stan) |
October 8 - 19
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "At least my nose is clean!!" (Janet) |
| "If your nose is clean why are you covering up your left nostril?" (Stan) |
| "This proves how nosey she really is. Right, Kathy?" (Stan) |
| "Ever since she lost the Jasper County 'Pork' Queen contest, you can't get her to stop posing..." (Roger) |
| "Do I have a booger in here?" (Ann) |
| "How many surgeries will it take to fix this nose?" (Ann) |
| "Y'all come down to the farm Thanksgivin' and see our new pet pig!" (Kathy) |
| "Jan really knows how to put the 'ham' in Hamacher!" (Kathy) |
| "This li'l Piggy is hungry! Quick, Stan, haul out the slop, but watch your fingers, son!" (Kathy) |
| "What is that in your nose Janet? Could it be, ummmm, A FINGER!!!!!!!!" (Phyllis) |
October 1 - 8
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "Does Funke Jr. know how to get down and Funke?" (Stan) |
| "Funky and Son??!!! --- I bet Sanford and Son are like, TOTALLY, jealous!!!" (Roger) |
| "Funky?! Yeah, we're about as 'funky' as Wonder Bread and mayonnaise!" (Janet) |
| "Sanford and Son we ain't!" (Kathy) |
September 23 - October 1
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "Garnet and Julie have the same taste in hats... :)" (Janet) |
| "I feel pretty, oh so pretty." Magic! Look at me.Magic! "I feel pretty, oh so pretty..." (Phyllis) |
| "These dance lessons are not what I expected...one, two, paw-paw-paw??" (Steve) |
| "Eye, eye, yeye, yeye..., I am the Frito Bandito!!!!" (Julie) |
September 13 - September 23
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
Not really a caption, more of a description...
This was the day we brought Jenica home from the hospital in Mom's 1st bed
room. Niki was wanting to hold the baby? :) Trying to convince Byron to let her... (Janet) |
| "It's funny when Uncle Byron's face turns blue" (Steve Lee) |
| "Jeeeeeenet! Jeeeeeeen! get her off me, I can't breathe...
Don't make me ask you again, I could really hurt someone here.
Jeeeeeeeen! Pleeeeeese........ pretty pretty please!!!" (Phyllis) |
| "See Aunt Janet, I told you I could make Uncle Byron smile for the camera!" (Cheryl) |
| "Aw pute, Punkin... Be careful that you don't hurt that little feller now!!..." (Bill Jr.) |
| "Niki nabs the Frito Bandito..." (Roger and Kathy) |
August 29 - September 13
Pictured: Andrew Risner
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "Now THIS is what you call an all day sucker!" (Phyllis) |
| "Li'l Roy Orbison strutting his stuff - Thatsa my boy!" (Stan R.) |
"Ray Charles doesn't have anything on me!!" (Janet H.)
(Editor's note: "...doesn't have anything..." should be replaced by "...ain't got nothin'...") |
| "At least I can sing for supper, can't depend on the POW participation to keep me going!" (Andrew) |
| "Stevie Wonder ain't got nothin' on me... :)" (Janet H.) |
| "Rock 'n Roll and roll and roll..." (Julie) |
August 23 - August 29
Pictured: Roger and Bob Olson, early 1956
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "Ahh, the good ol' days when Roger could read and
go to the bathroom without actually having to BE in the bathroom..." (Steve Lee) |
| "It looks like Roger was destined for greatness
when he switched his comic book for his big brother's home work..." (Lee Ann Patterson) |
| "Hey Bob, if you will take the college entrance exam,
I'll talk the dean into letting you sit in on one of my lectures..." (Phyllis) |
| "Hey Bob, it says here that in Rensselaer, Indiana a baby girl was born today
4-8-56. Think I will ever meet her???" (Janet H.) |
| "Hey Bob, can you give me a lift to class tomorrow? My stroller lost a wheel..." (Phyllis) |
| "Hey Bob, now this is MY kind of picture book.
Is this why they call it playboy - for boys like me?..." (Stan and/or Cheryl R.) |
| "So this is who taught Elvis how to read..." (Kathy and Roger) |
August 17 - August 23
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "Looks like Kathy has lost a lot of weight in the face!!! :-) Purty purty girl..." (Janet H.) |
| "That new 'ten lemon' diet seems to be really working well!" (Kathy and Roger) |
| "I swear I was not sucking on your stupid super glue tube..." (Phyllis R.) |
| "Me tawt me taw a puddy tat!" (Phyllis R.) |
| "They say that if you hold your mouth just right good things will happen..." (Phyllis R.) |
| "My, that thermometer is cold!" (Stan and/or Cheryl R.) |
August 8 - August 17
Pictured: Cheryl Risner and Phyllis Risner
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "Oops! Hope Cheryl didn't hear that! Maybe she'll think it was my chair???? (NOT!!!!!) :)" (Janet H.) |
| "There I was smiling so pretty....and again, Phyllis sticks her face in front of the camera..." (Cheryl R.) |
| "Cheryl, do you reeeeally want me to repeat myself???" (Phyllis R.) |
| "Phyllis has always been a real Toot... errrr... I mean, Hoot!" (Kathy) |
| "Oh, Cheryl, that's just the soup beans and cornbread talkin'..." (Kathy) |
| "Hey Cheryl, look again. That's not my face in front of the camera..." (Phyllis R.) |
| "Sorry Phyllis, I had my reading glasses on!..." (Cheryl R.) |
| "So, that's where Chris gets it from! Had I known this before we got married....." (Tara Risner) |
July 30 - August 8
Pictured: Jenica and Byron Hamacher
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "When did Jenica meet the Unabomber?" (Steve Lee) |
| Janet to photographer: "I want my money back! This is NOT the Santa pictured in the brochure!" (Steve Lee) |
| "Back the Stanley Steemer truck in, Jan - I need to clean my beard!" (Steve Lee) |
| "Are we having fun yet?????" (Julie Griffith) |
| "ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME???!!!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "Jenica: HELP!!! I've been kidnapped and am being brainwashed by Charles Manson!!!" (Roger and Kathy) |
| "Helter Skelter!!!..., da da da da da da..., Helter Skelter!!!..." (Roger and Kathy) |
| "You better go shave, Byron - Jenica looks like she's thinking about going to college already..." (Phyllis) |
July 23 - July 30
Pictured: Ty Watson, Kathy (Risner), and Niki Risner
Correct answerers: Ann Benham, Janet Hamacher
Incorrect guesses:
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "(As you can see, Kath is not taking her eyes off the camera!! She has no idea
the kids are starting to cry. As you can also see she is smiling in ALL the
pictures!!!:) If I were watching them they would be happy and smiling at the
camera with me!!!" (Janet Hamacher) |
"Pic 1:
Kathy: OK kids, everyone get ready for the picture
Boy: Picture?? I'm outta here!
Girl: Oh my god, how do I look?
Pic 2:
Kathy: Here's the second one... [girl] don't block my face!
Boy: Hey is that candy on the floor over there?
Girl: Wait! I wasn't ready!
Pic 3:
Kathy: That's better, now they can see my whole face!
Boy: Ahhhhh!! There's metal spikes on her teeth!!! Crawl for your
lives!
Girl: I need a sedative...hey maybe someday I'll be a pharmacist!
Pic 4:
Kathy: OK, last pic. I think this went really well.
Boy: I think I made a doo-doo.
Girl: If you stink I'm gonna kick your !#$@% diapered @$%!" (Steve Lee) |
July 16 - July 23
Pictured:Addy Cain
Correct answerers: Steve Lee, Phyllis Risner, Janet Hamacher
Incorrect guesses: Chris Risner, Josie Joiner
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "'Goo Goo Ga Ga... (burp!)' - translated: 'I think therefore I
am... (burp!)'" (Steve Lee) |
| "Hey, BUB, can't you see I'm busy?" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "I was just pondering what I should wear to bed tonight..." (Janet Hamacher) |
| "That lady over there doesn't look too bright.... What could I scream for now?" (Cheryl Risner) |
| "Hmmmmm... Should I spill pizza sauce or cranberry juice on this outfit first?" (Eric Griffith) |
| "Hmm, let me see now, what will I do today?" (Ann Benham) |
| "Awww, Mom! Do I have to be nice to EVERYBODY in the family? Even Aunts Janet and Phyllis???" (Kathy) |
July 11 - July 16
Correct answerers: Stan Risner, Janet Hamacher, Julie Griffith
Incorrect guesses: Elvis!, Stan Risner
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "What do ya figure we could get for this on Ebay?" (Roger) |
| "Helpful Hint: Elvis was close... I do like peanut butter and banana
sandwiches, just not fried." (Anon.) |
The Answer!
"To my biggest fan.....Steve Lee" (Julie Griffith) |
I think Janet is STAN'S only fan and vice versa.
They only have each other, so Stan must have written the note...
Steve Lee wrote the note! (Ed.)
"Janet must have paid someone off to get such a sweet little note" (Phyllis Risner) |
July 5 - July 11
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "Punkin and Tink tootin' their horns :-)" (Janet Hamacher) |
"That's it girls, keep playing while Daddy's in the bathroom...
A) you know how those noises scare the livestock!...
B) if only we could cover the smell as easy..." (Steve Lee) |
| "If you don't toot your own horn, who will toot it for you?" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "Speaking of tooting, what the heck is Brie doing!!?" (Phyllis Risner) |
June 25 - July 5
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
"These two birds are getting ready to fly out of the nest...
Looks like the smaller bird still needs an extra worm or two!!!" (Janet Hamacher)
Editor's note: Make sure
Mr. Bottorf
is close by in case they have an accident! |
| "...'Apply fungus cream to affected nails and elevate'... Now what?!" (Cheryl Risner) |
| "Wax on, wax off, yeeeeehaaaw!" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "I'm a little tea pot short and stout..." (Phyllis Risner) |
| "Mom, where is that foul smell coming from? I told you to wear socks when we did this..." (Stan Risner) |
June 18 - June 25
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "Duff needs a chef's hat and he will be set!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "WHAT'S IN THE CAN?" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "What do you mean that wasn't the bbq sauce?!" (Stan Risner) |
| "Hey, look! I put my face on the grill, and it didn't even hurt!" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "Don't worry, Kath, that fly won't be bothering the meat anymore.
Besides, we will give that piece to Janet..." (Stan Risner) |
| "Well done? Why, thank you!" (Donna Patterson) |
Here's a three-in-one caption
"Don't worry, if the gas runs out...
A) I supply my own...
B) Jeff Elam's coming with the Little Debbie's...
C) We can cook the burgers on my forehead..." (Steve Lee) |
| "Roger, surely you're not wasting that can of beer marinating those hamburgers!" (Bob Payne) |
| "By the way, where do they sell that Duff beer at anyway?
Don't believe I've ever tried that kind." (Bob Payne) |
June 11 - June 18
Silly or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "Looks like the guys are in an earthquake trying to stand up..." (Janet Hamacher) |
| "Look Ma, I got me a new beau!
Ain't he cute? And you said he didn't know which end was up..." (Dennis and Fran Taylor) |
| "Looks like Tom and Steve are being carried to safety,
as Ole Yellow Eyes confronts the offending pole..." (Phyllis Risner) |
| "Ok everybody, pull! - Chris has gone off the deep end and thinks he's a beaver.
Chris, next time try a wooden pole it's softer..." (Stan Risner) |
| "I've never seen a pole as pretty as you..." (Eric Griffith) |
| "These are the strangest handcuffs I've ever had the pleasure of wearing..." (Julie Griffith) |
| "Things get crazy at the annual Mutant's Day Festival.
Looks like pig-boy Chris caught a scent of some truffles!" (Steve Lee) |
June 4 - June 11
HINT: Click here for the full picture of Grandpa's 50th birthday, March 1958...
Pictured: Kathy Risner and Al Payne
Correct answerers: Janet Hamacher, Stan Risner, Phyllis Risner (corrected), Lee Ann Patterson (corrected)
Half-Correct answerers: Phyllis Risner (original), Phil Patterson, Ann Benham, Lee Ann Patterson
Incorrect guesses: Marie and Donnie Osmond, Hillary and Bill
Silly, sentimental, or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME???" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "Bill and Hillary Clinton? Note the humorless look on her face and the guilty look on his" (Steve Lee) |
| "Who are all these people looking at us?" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "I don't HEAR anything" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "I've been to hog call'ns and county fairs and I ain't never seen nothin' like that!" (Phil Patterson) |
"Before I got the clue I recognized my western shirt in the background so I said to myself that must be Mary Lou and
Al Payne. But then again as I looked closer I don`t remember Mary Lou wearing that style of hair cut.
The only person that could wear that style back then and get away with it had to be sassy Kathy.
Even our dad approved because he is the one who gave her that famous look" (Stan Risner)
Editor's note: Rose gave the haircuts back then, Stan! |
| "You want us to do what?" (Lee Ann Patterson) |
| "What do you mean we have to pick more pickles?!" (Lee Ann Patterson) |
May 28 - June 4
Pictured: D. Scott Lee
Correct answerers: Janet Hamacher, Doyle Lee, Lee Ann Patterson, Phyllis Risner, Jackie Stoner
Incorrect guesses:
Silly, sentimental, or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "And a one, and a two, and a ...." (Doyle Lee) |
| "I think he is having a little toooooo much fun with that polka!" (Lee Ann Patterson) |
| "Roll out the barrell..." (Lee Ann Patterson) |
| "I wanted to play the drums, but Mom thought this would look better on my police record" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "Is this a young Lawrence Welk?" (Stan Risner) |
| "Mom said the piano was too big to carry, so this is the next best thing!!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "It hasn't been the same since the monkey ran away" (Donna Patterson) |
| "If I practice hard enough, maybe I can be on the Lawrence Welk show, too!
Oh, here come the bubbles..." (Cliff Costello) |
| "Haaaaa ha!!!!" (Nelson Muntz --- from the Simpson's) |
| "If any of the kids from school come to my recital, I'm dead meat!" (Roger and Kathy) |
May 21 - May 28
Pictured: Michelle Stoner and Jenica Hamacher
Correct answerers: Phyllis Risner, Julie Griffith
Incorrect guesses:
Michelle Pfeiffer & Sandra Bullock,
Hillary Rodman & Janet Reno
Silly, sentimental, or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "My little Indians!! Now all grown up and ready for college(?)" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "Lipstick? Uh...no, we haven't seen your lipstick, Mom!" (Steve Lee) |
| "Grandma Eaglefeather so proud cause li'l Injuns wash away war paint and make em peace!" (Kathy and Roger) |
| "Don't smile Jenica, maybe they won't notice that we added more bubbles to the bath." (Phyllis Risner) |
| "We have secretly replaced their regular bubble bath with new and improved Clown Bubbles.
Let's see if they notice the difference..." (Phil Patterson) |
| "After much trial and error, we finally duplicated our Mommys' make-up techniques!!
We are sooooo proud of ourselves!!" (Julie Griffith) |
| "We know that widdle rubber ducky is in here somewhere..." (Stan Risner) |
May 14 - May 21
Pictured: Bill Risner, Jr.
Silly or otherwise amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "My nails should dry in seconds, then I can stop holding my breath!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "Bill Jr. loves doing his Liberace impression!" (Steve Lee) |
| "Why, I DO declare... that sun is mighty bright, Mr. Risner!" (Brad Risner) |
| "Peuuuuuuuuwwwwwt!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "I've made a LOT more friends since the lip collagen injection!" (Kathy and Roger) |
| "Bill telling us a good story about his visit to San Francisco. They were so cute, son!" (Stan Risner) |
| "Alright, do I look like a lobster NOW????" (Lee Ann Patterson) |
| "Isn't this Mary Lou before she shaved her chest?..." (Chris Risner) |
| "Do you think I should display my female side more often? I am getting more comfortable with it you know, and I
really, really like it!!" (Phyllis Risner) |
May 7 - May 14
Pictured: Emma Griffith
Correct answerers: Janet Hamacher
Incorrect guesses: Addy Cain, Josie Joiner
Silly, sentimental, or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "If this blanket were any tighter I would turn blue" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "It's Austin Powers, Jr. - 'Oh, no... I've gone cross eyed!'" (Brooke Hamacher) |
| "Burrrr!! Who keeps turning down the heater? It's hard to focus when I am cold" (Stan Risner) |
| "If they wrap me any tighter my eyes will POP out!" (Emma Griffith) |
| "PRECIOUS!!!!!!" (Julie Griffith) |
| "And I thought it was tight in my last apartment!!!" (Julie Griffith) |
April 30 - May 7
Pictured: Brad and Andrew Risner and "Friend"
Silly or otherwise amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "Look Mom, Uncle Bob took us hunting!! Can we fix it for supper?" (Janet Hamacher) |
| Bob sez: "Rose....Somebody broke in our trunk and took Thanksgiving dinner.
And I was just sharpening my knife to skin it!" (Kenny Stoner) |
| "Mom!!!! Look!!!! Uncle Bob is gonna show us how to skin and gut this S.O.B!!!" (Kenny Stoner) |
| "This is kinda big for a little Indiana field mouse!" (Jackie Stoner) |
"Aunt Rose, Uncle Bob said to put this in the turkey
pan and don't worry because no one can tell the difference between dead
muskrat and turkey as long as you add just a little more sage and poultry
seasoning and beer."
Bob interrupts: "Uhhh..., wait!
We better not waste a can of beer, I only brought a case down!" (Kenny and Jackie Stoner) |
| Bob sez: "Somebody stole the muskrat from out of my trunk!
Awww.., it's OK - at least they left the beer!" (Kathy and Roger) |
| Brad sez: "This is what the muskrat looked like just before Uncle Bob shot it!" (Kathy and Roger) |
| "STAN's TRUNK O'FUN --- Another satisfied customer!" (The Pattersons) |
| "Mom! We bought this for a buck! Did we do good?
He said this is a great car odorizer! I don't know if it will hang from the mirror though..." (The Pattersons) |
| "Risner's are always looking for a bargain!" (The Pattersons) |
| "Look Ma, we got dinner. Ya got any ketchup?" (Eric Griffith) |
| "Uncle Bob, we really enjoyed the muskrat chops and the tail soup!" (Andrew Risner) |
| "Uncle Bob, this will make a fine hors d'oeuvre.
Now do you have any coon or possum for the main meal?" (Brad Risner) |
| "Does it taste ANYTHING like chicken?" (Cheryl Risner) |
| "Hey, Mom! Would you like a fur hand warmer?" (Stan Risner) |
| "Come on, Bob! Three cases of beer for one lousy rat is a little steep isn`t it?!
What about a family discount???" (Stan Risner) |
April 23 - April 30
Pictured: Mr. and Mrs. Andy Risner!
April 16 - April 23
Pictured: Kenny Stoner
Correct answerers: Janet Hamacher, Michelle Stoner, Julie Griffith
Incorrect guesses: Jackie Stoner, Michelle Stoner
Silly or otherwise amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "I think the baby feels a little uncomfortable in the itchy dress!!!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "I could learn to walk better if you'd buy me the other shoe" (Steve Lee) |
| "No, no, no! Keep your left up when you throw your right!" (Steve Lee) |
| "Yes, Yes! This would be my drag-queen-wanna-be brother, KENDRA" (Michelle Stoner) |
April 9 - April 16
Pictured: Sam I Am
Silly or otherwise amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| ----- Design-a-quote -----
"Sometimes life's not fair... For example, I bit ____________ (fill in with your least favorite person),
and *I* got the rabies!!!" (Kathy and Roger) |
| "Got milk? ... I SAID -- GOT MILK?!?!" (Sam I Am) |
| "I am ready for desert - now where did that friggin' mouse go?!" (Stan Risner) |
| "THIS TASTES LIKE DISH SOAP!!!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "Eeeewww, I'm SO tired of brown-nosing!" (Sam I Am) |
| "Hmmph... I find it rather offensive that SO very few of you human folk found
my BEAUTIFUL portrait worthy of your creative captions!" (Sam I Am) |
April 2 - April 9
Pictured: Desi Risner
Correct answerers: Brett Risner, Stan Risner, Michelle Stoner
Incorrect guesses:
Degree of apathy and non-participation: 99.7%
Silly, sentimental, or amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "So innocent..." (Brett Risner) |
| "My name is Kellen, and I know I am so cute because my daddy said I get my looks from him" (Stan Risner) |
March 26 - April 2
Pictured: Brooke and Tyler Hamacher
Silly or otherwise amusing captions, in the order they were received:
| "It looks like a half nelson nose plug to me!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "Children who wrassle together stay together" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "A fine, fine example of sibling rivalry" (Kathy) |
| "How we all decide who gits the last piece o' FRIED CHICKEN" (Kathy) |
"I'll wrestle you to the death for that last brownie!"
Awwww... Too late, Kathy just ate it --- (Kathy) |
| "Nice move, Ty! I used to use that one on your Mom and Aunt Kathy,
but it didn`t work that well on Uncle Bill" (Stan Risner) |
| "You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but........you
can't pick your friend's nose" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "Even though they shared a brain the doctors were able to surgically separate
these twins" (Jason Risner) |
| "Brooke, didn't you learn in CPR class to roll the person on HIS back, and
to tilt his head back with his nose pinched? Next time flip him over!" (Jackie Stoner) |
| "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another" (John 13:35) |
March 19 - March 26
Pictured: Stanley Bruce "Bruno" "Conner" "Studmuffin" Risner
- see Delbert Risner's page for the full picture
Correct answerers: Janet Hamacher, Stan Risner(!)
Incorrect guesses: Delbert Watson, Bill Risner, John Stigaw
Silly or sentimental captions, in the order they were received:
| "I am sooo cute when I smile like this!!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "I couldn't tell ya who it was, but they MUST be REALLY OLD - the black and white gave it away" (Michelle Stoner) |
| "The love child of the Stay-Puff marshmallow man" (Jason Risner) |
OK, Family, screw on your thinking caps a little tighter, here's a hint:
"Would you buy a vehicle from this feller?" (Kathy and Roger) |
March 12 - March 19
Pictured: Ryan Lee
Correct answerers: Brooke Hamacher
Incorrect guesses: Mike Watson, Kole Risner, Steve Lee, Bob Payne
Silly captions, in the order they were received:
| "Young Bobby Payne falls off the little red wagon" (Steve Lee) |
| "Thank God for these extra-absorbent diapers!" (Steve Lee) |
| "Oh no, I'm not gonna burp him!" (Steve Lee) |
| "Wake me when the party gets started" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "Apparently Bob babysat the grandkids again" (Jenica Hamacher) |
| "That last beer did it!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "Ninety-nine, I mean TWO bottles of beer on the wall were all that was left,
and I sucked both down" (Stan Risner) |
| "Two caaans of sssstroohs on the wa...urrrph...wall...." (Chris Risner) |
| "Hey who took my keys? I use my pacifier as a key ring" (Jason Risner) |
| "...blah, blah, blah... You SEE what happens when kids watch The Simpsons?!!? ...
blah, blah, blah... I TOLD you that awful, awful show should be BANNED! ...blah, blah, blah..." (Biz E. Body) |
| "What about the CHIIIIIILDREN??? PLEEEEEASE, won't SOMEBODY stand up for the CHIIIIIILDREN?!!"
(an outraged political activist) |
| "OK, PETA, you see what happens when you replace milk with beer? Although children (and parents) benefit
from the additional sleep, are our children really healthier overall?" (anonymous anti-PETA activist) |
| "He's getting more like his dad every day!" (Tim Baylor) |
| "You CAN find fulfillment in the bottom of that can!" (Tim Baylor) |
| "You think TEETHING is bad, just wait'll you experience a baby HANGOVER!" (Kathy and Roger) |
| "More evidence of the epidemic of alcoholism among American pre-schoolers.
A study at a midwestern playground found that 78% of all toddlers stumbled and fell when they attempted to walk a straight line
and 94% had slurred speech or talked incoherently. Nearly half could not say the ABC's and some couldn't
even recall their middle and last names. Like the child pictured above (identity withheld because he is a
minor), 17% of the pre-school children were found asleep in the middle of
the afternoon with the odor of drink on their breath" (Bob Brodman) |
March 5 - March 12
Pictured: Tyler Hamacher
Correct answerers: Janet Hamacher, Julie Griffith
Incorrect guesses:
Silly captions, in the order they were received:
| "Did Grandpa teach this li'l baby to eat?????" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "My eyes aren't quite open and my mouth is crooked but I can out eat anybody here!" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "Hey Steve, you want a piece of me? Tell me what my name is or your oatmeal is mine!" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "Y'know, these Rice Crispies would stay in my mouth a lot better if I had more teeth!" (Steve Lee) |
| "Whatta YOU lookin' at?" (Steve Lee) |
| "I should not have eaten the whole thing - Does anyone have an Alka Seltzer?" (Stan Risner) |
| "Hurry, Mom, they're multiplying!!!!!" (Julie Griffith) |
| "BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP!!!" (Jason Risner) |
| "Mom doesn't cook like she orta!" (Jackie Stoner) |
| "Snap, Crackle, and Pop are stuck in my throat!" (Jenny Gaha) |
February 27 - March 5
Pictured: Emma Risner in 1984
Silly captions, in the order they were received:
| "Mom doing her best Michael Jordan impression - clear the lane I`m coming thru!" (Stan Risner) |
Good morning. What a great POW! The photographer must be very talented, and
good-looking! But enough about me, here's my caption:
"Nah, nah, Chris and Steve. Here's what a GOOD watermelon looks like!
And, I don't have to roll mine across the yard!" (Steve Lee) |
| "The trick to great tasting melons is to pick 'em and then lick 'em" (Chris Risner) |
| "You don't want to pick a melon until it's the right size and thickness.
I use my tongue as a gauge" (Chris Risner) |
| Question: How could Steve have taken this picture and be standing in the background at the same time?
(Chris Risner) |
| "Guess where my tongue is and I'll give you this watermelon" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "Whew...! I just got done birthin' Janet, now it's back to the fields!" (Kathy and Roger)
Historical note: Janet was kind of a homely baby, as you can see here... |
| "Get the knife and salt and meet me at the picnic table!!!" (Janet Hamacher) |
Hello. I was just visiting what USED to be a nice, friendly family webpage when I came upon a vicious
personal attack in the POW quotes. I thought the political campaigns had gotten nasty 'til I saw that! Notice I elected not
to take the low road and reply with some equally nasty comment. Revenge is a dish best served cold... So here's my reply:
"Chris, that's not me, that's a fence-post...but I was pretty skinny back then" (Steve Lee) |
February 20 - February 27
Pictured: Jenica Hamacher
Correct answerers: Steve Lee, Janet Hamacher, Stan Risner, Brett Risner
Incorrect guesses:
Silly captions, in the order they were received:
| "HEEEEEEEEEEY! Am I the only one here that smells that?" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "HaHa Brooke and Tyler... It's my second time and you don't have any!!!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "Don't make me yell for Uncle Bill, start cranking!" (Brett Risner) |
| "Mommy, when I grow up I want to have a big mouth just like you, but not your nose" (Stan Risner) |
| "This carnival ride is a blast, Mom!" (Stan Risner) |
| "You think I'm bad now, just wait 'til I'm a teenager!" (Steve Lee) |
| "Mom, my name is Jenica. Don't you remember me?" (Chris Risner) |
February 13 - February 20
Pictured: Bill Risner, Jr.
Silly captions, in the order they were received:
| "I'm telling you, if more of you don't start sending in those silly captions and identifying those little babies for POW,
I'm gonna kick your asses!!!" (Bill Jr.) |
| "Bill waking up in a fighting mood!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "I've been milking for two hours, and I can't even open my hands.
The least you can do, Bruno, is comb my hair son! ...and scratch my back" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "Damn cards - I lost my shirt again" (Stan Risner) |
| "CHUCK-DELBERT-BRUCE! YOUR ASSES ARE MINE!!!" (Stan Risner) |
| "Chris and Jason, now you know where I got all my hair from!" (Brett Risner) |
| "I'm telling you son there is something on my chest.
You better get over here and get it off!" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "Does anyone know who took this picture? Is he still alive?" (Stan and Roger) |
| "YEEEEEEEEEE GORDIE!!!! Run, Stan, Run!" (Delbert Watson) |
| "Doing 'The Twist' is much easier when your laying down" (Chris Risner) |
| "Who tied my hair in knots again!?...BRETT!" (Chris Risner) |
February 6 - February 13
Pictured: Tyson Watson
Correct answerers: Jackie Stoner, Janet Hamacher,
Incorrect guesses: Jeff Watson, Rick Payne, Al Payne
Silly captions, in the order they were received:
| "I wish this guy would keep his big paws to himself!" (Steve Lee) |
"I have no idear who she is..." (Steve Lee)
Hey Steve, does this look like a girl to you????
| "I don't know any Siamese twins in this family" (Chris Risner) |
| "I'm not sure who the one on the right is, but I think the furry one is Stan" (Steve Lee) |
| "Which one has the cutest smile? ...the biggest eyes, ...the most hair? :)" (Janet Hamacher) |
|
January 30 - February 6
Pictured: The Risner Grandkids, early 1965
Sentimental and/or silly captions, in the order they were received:
| Scott says, "Eeewwwwwwww... who farted?!!?" (Roger and Kathy) |
| "This picture was obviously taken BEFORE the most favored grandchild was born" (Chris Risner) |
| "Chris, thanks for noticing I'm not in the picture. Don't feel bad though, you were their favorite
grandson born in January 1969" (Steve Lee) |
| "I know I'm not supposed to tell, but I always could tell it was Rhea who farted --
look she even thinks it's funny" (Tanya) |
The following ethereal exchange was provided by Phyllis Risner:
| Hear ye, hear ye -- Message from the Great Beyond: |
| "How in the world did we get all these grandkids?!" (Dad) |
| ------------ Answer from Earth --------------- |
|---|
| "You know !@#%&#@! well how we got them!!!" (Mom) |
| "Mom looks like she is about to bite her lip plum off!!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "Julie looks bored! when are we finished?? I need a nap" (Janet H.) |
| "Rhea looks happy about something? -- Maybe the future??:)" (Janet H.) |
| "Dad wants to know what that is on the floor, A HAIR!! -- It is about dinner time :)" (Janet H.) |
January 23 - January 30
Pictured: Stan Risner
Silly captions, in the order they were received:
| "Well!!!!" (Kathy Olson) |
| "Not now, Fido! I'm working on #2" (Julie Griffith) |
| "I know I can reach my crutch with just these two fingers.
Throw me another toy, Cheryl!" (Phyllis Risner) |
| "Good thing Stan knows sign language, it sure comes in handy since his foot was broken!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "Alright, I can understand the dog putting its scent down on this site, but,
really, Stan!" (Ann Benham) |
| "The job is not done until the paper work is finished, but I dropped the roll" (Bob Olson) |
| "Ok. One more big push on three. Ready? ONE...TWO..." (Chris Risner) |
| "I've been on the pot for TWO hours and my foot has fallen asleep and turned blue" (Chris Risner) |
| "Wait a minute! I only count TWO bones here!" (Chris Risner) |
| Hear ye, hear ye -- Messages from the Great Beyond: |
| "You triflin' no count son o' mine!...
Showin' yerself like that on the pot @$^%$&**%...
You think I cain't see you from up here?!
You can jus' think again @$&%*&#$*!!" (Dad) |
| "Chillin', the cows are out! Bruce, you got TWO minutes to git off that dang pot!!" (Dad) |
January 16 - January 23
Pictured: Roger
Correct guesser: Cheryl Risner
Incorrect guesses: Chris Risner, Phil Patterson, Regis Philbin(!), Steve Lee
Silly captions, in the order they were received:
| "Oh my, My seat feels a little...lumpy!" (Chris Risner) |
| "Hey ma. Watch me shoot lasers out of my big toes!" (Chris Risner) |
| "Someday I hope to play the piano with my feet." (Chris Risner) |
January 9 - January 16
Pictured: Jenica Hamacher
Correct answerers: 1. Cheryl Risner 2. Janet Hamacher 3. The Griffiths
Incorrect guesses: Jason Risner, Nikole Risner, Brett Risner
Silly captions, in the order they were received:
| "I got the soap!" (Ann Benham) |
| "Smile, you're on candid camera!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "The best snow cone you ever had!" (Julie Griffith) |
| "Rub-a-dub-dub" (Eric Griffith) |
| "My extra large brain will enable me to take over the world someday!" (Chris Risner) |
| "Where'd Pinky go?" (Bob Olson) |
| "When I grow up I wanna be Don King!" (Steve Lee) |
January 2 - January 9
Pictured: Steve Lee
Silly captions, in the order they were received:
| "Steve, when he was 3, boy he was big for his age!" (Janet Hamacher) |
| "What is supposed to come out of my thumb?" (Janet H.) |
| "I'm a big baby!" (Janet H.) |
| "Kathy, can I go out and play, pwetty pwease?!" (Stan Risner) |
| "I didn't mean to do it! - Does it smell that bad?" (Stan Risner) |
| "I think a real trumpet would sound a bit better" (Julie Griffith) |
| "OOO tastes like chicken" (Eric Griffith) |
"The flavor lasts and lasts" (Bob Olson)
"My relatives are crazy, will you PLEASE adopt me?" (Steve Lee!)
| |
December 26, 1999 - January 2, 2000
Who's on Santa's lap? (Ans: Brett Risner)
Correct answerers: 1. Tyler Hamacher 2. Ann Benham
3. Brett Risner! 4. Julie Griffith
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